Rejoining Weight Watchers

When I walked in this morning, I knew I was in the right spot.

There comes a time when you have to say 'Enough!'   

                      ... when you have to walk away  (from the chocolate)

                      ... when you have to stop  (and put down the bag of chips)

                      ... when you have to let go  (of the 3rd slice of pizza)

                      ... when you have to realize (having 2 chins is not a sign of perimenopause) 

                      ... when you have to put the bowl of ice cream down and say enough is enough.

That time for me is now.  Well, okay, I had to have one last bowl of double chocolate peanut butter ice cream last night,  but really, I need to be
honest with myself.  I'm ready now.  This morning,  I walked in and was greeted by a woman with a big, warm smile that asked how I was doing and I replied "Great!  I am here to rejoin please!"  I am super excited about it.   I have tried Weight Watchers as well as various other diets, shakes, gyms, exercise machines, but my trouble has always been that I stop before I reach my goal. 

I had tried Jenny Craig's but found it too expensive and hated having to purchase my "groceries" at Jenny's. It did teach me portion size, but was too much financially.  Then I stopped going there convinced I could do this on my own.   (Ha!)

I have tested both the Isagenix and Shakeology programs.  Seems to work for about the first 5 pounds, but I don't stick with it out of boredom with food choices and giving into cravings.  Not to mention, the couple of hundred dollars they expect one to pay each month to keep up with the shake programs!

I have joined various gyms over the years.  One gym, I loved the kickboxing class, but my son would cry and be quite sad when I put him in child watch.  I stopped going there. 

Last spring, I joined Curves for Women and was quite excited to be doing something for me.  It was great for the first month or so.  I made some women friends and was slowly starting to lose weight.  Then the momentum wore off.  The weather got warmer and I thought I can just walk around the neighborhood instead of going to the gym.  And I went on various vacations and fell off the weightless track.  I rather eat than count calories.  The scale was going up and I felt guilty when I had to go in and get weighted in. I stopped going there too.

Now fast forward nearly a year later, when I was thinking when I joined Curves that this Spring I would be at least 20 pounds lighter;  Well,  I am actually about 5 pounds heavier.  My muffin top has gotten bigger and my self-esteem has gotten smaller.  I don't like the way I look and it's difficult to be happy. 

Something has to change!  I know this and I also know I need to be in the right frame of mind to get the momentum going again.  I want to be able to wear a bathing suit and not be so self conscious.  I don't want to be a fat mom anymore.   So I started to think back over the past years as to when the fat was added and what worked and what didn't. 

And then I had my aha moment!  Four years ago, I got down to a size 10 and I was so super happy as that was my pre-pregnancy weight before I had my children.  I was successful with Weight Watchers.  It wasn't the first time I had joined it but I that time I stuck with it and went to the meetings.  That time I didn't stop.  Okay, but I did because I am heavier now.  A month after wearing that fabulous dress to my sister's wedding,  I was miraculously pregnant and my eating habits changed back to what they were before Weight Watchers. 

Today,  I am 35 pounds heavier than the size ten dress.  I have a lot of weight to lose.  The most ever for me.  When I stepped on the scale at Weight Watchers this morning.  I vowed this would be the last time, I saw those three numbers staring back at me (well, unless the 2nd two numbers are transposed! How wonderful that would be!)  

It is when I know in my heart that I have reached my breaking point.   Today, I begin again.  I will lose the weight.  I have much to lose in the way of weight and lots to gain in myself.  I hope you will join me on my weight loss journey either as a Weight Watcher participant or a supporter on the sidelines.